house guest
by nityab
Summary: AU.john invites a long forgotten friend of dean's to stay with them for some time. dean finds himself falling for this friend he barely remembers... will he be able to admit his feelings for a certian blue-eyed stranger?
1. cassie

**Chapter 1**

Dean's footsteps were unnaturally sluggish as he walked back home from school. Usually it was sam who walked behind him trying to keep up with his fast pace, but today things were a little different. Sam walked in front of dean, his own feet being dragged as he put one foot in front of the other. Sam was never in a hurry to reach home. He liked to stay out as much as possible. But dean was different. He was always eager to get away from people he didn't _have _to talk to. For dean, there were only three things that mattered in this whole wide world, his family, his car and his friends. He didn't care about anything else. But as it turns out, it didn't matter. With his looks, no one cared if you gave a shit or not, and he got all the unwanted attention in school. But, in the midst of all this attention and girls swooning over him, he had found his share of friends, real friends, and they meant the world to him. He never imagined that anyone would mean anything to him, except his family, but he was wrong. His friends definitely meant a lot. And that was the reason for his sluggish steps. He was tired and angry and pissed. Tired of fighting with his best friend, ash. Angry at his father who had forced him to miss Ash's birthday party and visit Bobby for some stupid reunion of his friends… what was he even going to do there? And he was pissed at the whole situation! Not only would he have to miss his best friend's party, he would also have to make awkward small talk with strangers, so, that's what slowed his pace down.

Despite him showing utter disinterest in the family get together, his father forced him to get ready and drive to uncle bobby's house and plaster a smile on that face of his and at least pretend to have fun! So, he did what he was told. He reached uncle bobby's house and found a small groups of people talking about random stuff. Life after marriage, kids, divorce… it was sucking the life out of dean. But he did what he had to do. He walked over to bobby, gave him a hug and handed him the bottle of whiskey his father had asked him to give to bobby. They then shared a few sentences about dean's school life and sam and their father and then bobby excused himself to talk to other people. He looked over his shoulder and found his dad talking to Ellen, a high school friend of bobby's and johns. (Ellen didn't bring Jo! She never forced her daughter to do something that she didn't want to do. Dean was sure Jo was going to be at ash's party, making him look like even more of a bad friend that he thought he was!) He took out his phone and messaged ash:

_Dude, I'm really sorry, I couldn't come today… but you have to trust me, I had no option. I'll make it up to you I promise. Next time, you can choose the girl first when we hit the bars.. Okay? Please talk to me, man. And yeah, happy birthday!_

After 10 minutes, he still had no reply.

He decided to get out and get a smoke to release all his tension. He walked towards the door, but as soon as he put his hand on the door knob, the bell rang. He opened the door to find a young man standing there. He looked kind of like his father. Dean couldn't put his finger on what made him think that, but he definitely had an air about him which said that he knew how to get people to do what he wanted them to do, no matter what they wanted. The boy looked past dean and at bobby. He smiled lightly as bobby walked over to them with a huge grin on his face.

'_Michael! You're here. I can't remember the last time I saw you! You've grown so much! How are you? And where the hell is your father?' _Said bobby as he gave the new guy a bear hug.

The guy smiled, a little embarrassed by the sudden outburst of emotion from bobby. He replied calmly,

'_Father couldn't come. He was out on business. But he sends his best regards.' _

Bobby nodded knowingly and then his attention moved to a shorter guy standing next to Michael. Dean too, turned his head to look at what had suddenly caught bobby's attention. A boy stood behind Michael, head lowered. As soon as he felt bobby's and dean's eyes on him, he lifted his head, and as soon as his eyes met deans, dean felt like he couldn't breathe! He had _never_ in his life, seen a pair of eyes so blue. But it was more than the color of the iris. There was something about those eyes that stopped dean from making any kind of movement. He didn't realize that he was shamelessly staring at the guy he had never even seen before.

'_Castiel, is that you? I haven't seen you since you were in diapers! You were so small! It's so good to see you, boy._' Said bobby as he gave this guy a hug just like he had given to Michael.

All this while, dean just kept ogling at the new guy. He just couldn't seem to look away. The new guy noticed this and felt kind of uncomfortable. He lowered his head again, forcing dean to look away. And then dean noticed that Michael was talking to his father like they had known each other for years.

Michael was explaining something to john. Dean walked close to them to eavesdrop on their conversation to get a hint about who these people actually were and how exactly did his father know them.

' _so even though castiel filled the college application months ago, he forgot to fill in the accommodation application, and now there is no room left on the campus and we were in town just going through some apartment options so that he can move here'_

'_Castiel? He's going to college here? And he doesn't have a place to live and all you could come up with was him living in an apartment all by himself? Not only is that unsafe, it's also highly uneconomical. Why, he can stay with us for a semester or two, till he gets a place on campus. We have plenty of room at our place, and it's not like he'll be living among strangers!' _Said john.

Dean hadn't even known that someone named castiel existed and now they were going to be house buddies! Great! and it's not like he made a complete fool of himself by staring at him like a mad man the first time he saw him! Life's awesome for dean Winchester!

Michael and john continued to talk for a few more minute after Michael telling john that he'd ask castile if it was okay with him, and if it wasn't too uncomfortable for john, which, john told him, was no problem.

'_Dad, what was that? Did you just invite a stranger to live with us?' _ demanded dean as soon as Michael was out of earshot.

'_dean, oh... you mean castile? Stranger? Don't you remember him? he used to live next door till a few years ago. You two were best friends! You never left each other alone. Remember, you couldn't pronounce his name, so you used to call him cassie? Oh, how would you remember, both of you were only three. Well, guess it's time for you to revive some of your lost connections. Why don't you go talk to him? make him feel comfortable. He doesn't know anyone here anyway.'_ John said as if everything he said was something that happened every day.

As for dean, he had stopped listening after he heard the word 'cassie'

He scanned the crowd, but he couldn't spot the new guy. He felt something, he didn't know what. Like, he should remember what his father was saying, but he had no clue what he was talking about. Dean was thinking to himself about everything his dad had just told him.

'_cassie'_ he said, thinking out loud.

'_huh?´_ a voice came from behind him, he turned around to find castile standing there, right behind him, looking at him, waiting for him to say something. He had just called a guy, he barely new, by a childhood nickname. He has to say something. But it was like; words got stuck in his throat. Nothing came out. He just stared at the stranger like some lunatic, _again! Freaking awesome!_


	2. dear brain, please shut up!

**Chapter 2 **

'_Uh…. I'm sorry, it's nothing. I was just thinking of something. I mean, my dad just told me that we used to be friends, so I was trying to recall that' _dean barely managed to get it out before looking like more of an idiot than he already did.

'_Oh, your dean! Michael told me that I might find you here… I mean, even I don't remember anything, but I guess we used to be pretty close back then.' _ Castile replied in that same nonchalant manner.

Dean blushed at castiel's words, reading too much between the lines. This night was getting weirder by the moment. Why were his cheeks feeling warm all of a sudden? He needed some air, and maybe that smoke he was about to have before this guy showed up with is brother!

'_Yeah… excuse me, I need to... uh, I need to check on someone.´ _dean mentally cursed himself for the lame excuse he used to get out, and for stammering while speaking making it all the more unbelievable. Awesome! First he stared at this guy, then he failed to form proper sentences in his presence and now he probably made him feel like he didn't want to be around him! And this guy, who was his supposed best friend at some point of time, and who he barely remembered, was going to live with him for the next, god knows how many semesters! Yeah, life was good for dean!

He begged his brain to shut up, and when it didn't listen, he decided to kill it, one cell at a time, with beer. He grabbed a bottle and made his way to bobby's terrace, as he knew that none of the guests would come there. He walked over to the edge, and closed his eyes, and cool wind ruffled his short tan hair. He tried to remember anything he could from 15 years ago. He remembered himself, riding a tricycle, running behind some chubby kid, giggling and laughing… and he remembered the name, 'cassie'. He knew he felt something when his father had used the word earlier. He didn't know what it was, but he definitely felt something in his stomach.

He was finally compelled to stop thinking about a certain blue-eyed kid as his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a message from Ash.

'_Sorry dude, I over reacted. I just really wanted you to be there. Anyway, I know you had your reasons. So, everything cool?'_

Dean smiled at his phone as he read the message. Finally, something went right on this day!

'_All cool, man. See you in school tom?_

Dean replied and then made his way downstairs. As soon as he reached the foot of the stairs, his eyes were scanning the crowd once again, for castile. He didn't even know why. He had excused himself from his company minutes ago in a very awkward manner, and now he was looking for him! He should just ask his dad and leave. Of course his dad can't say no, it's a school night! He had completed his social obligation and was free to leave. But he just couldn't leave without seeing him, castile, one last time.

Did he just think that! What is wrong with him! He has to leave! As soon as possible!

'_Hey dad, I think I should leave. It's getting late and I have school tomorrow.'_

After saying goodbye to bobby and a few other people, dean got out of the house. He started walking towards his street. His dad'll get the car, he could walk. He wasn't too tired anyway. Maybe a nice walk will give him time to realize just what was going on in that stupid head of his, which still refused to shut up!

He was walking at a pace slower than his usual. His hands were deep inside his jacket's pockets. He had walked for around five minutes only when a car came to a halt, right next to him. He stopped in his tracks as the owner of the car rolled down the window.

'_Hey dean, can we give you a ride home. I know where you live and I am going in that direction anyway. It's freaking freezing out there. Come inside.' _said Michael.

Dean looked inside the car, and saw castile sitting next to Michael, looking up at dean, waiting for him to reply. He dropped his eyes as soon as they made contact with castiel's blue ones, as he could not afford to stare into them while his brother offered him a ride home.

Michael took dean's brief silence as a yes and unlocked the backseat door for dean to sit. Dean slid in the warm car.

They sat in silence for a few moments, during which, dean unconsciously stared at the back of catiel's head. He kept his eyes on the curve of castiel's neck, where his messy hair brushed it. He had thick brown hair. Dean imagined running his fingers through them. Wait, what? What the hell? He is going insane! He lowered his eyes and started at his fingers, lying in his lap for the rest of the ride. Michael made small talk so that the silence didn't get too awkward. Castile remained silent throughout the ride. And dean, even though no one knew what he was thinking, felt ashamed, embarrassed and confused.

He got out of the car as soon as it came to a halt in front of his house.

'_thanks Michael, for the ride. See you around. Goodnight' dean_ said, still looking a little embarrassed.

'_goodnight, dean _´said castiel, finally acknowledging his presence.

Dean refused to meet castiel's eyes, as he said goodnight, looking past him and made his way back to him house. He refused to look back at the car, even though he wanted to and he refused to acknowledge the fact that he wanted to.

Sam was already asleep when dean reached home. He went to his room, stripped down to his boxers and got inside his bed. He looked at the poster of Angelina Jolie that stuck to his bedroom wall before he closed his eyes, and imagined himself to be on a beach with her. He barred any thought of the blue-eyed stranger he met today and went to sleep.


	3. welcome home!

**Chapter 3**

Dean woke up next morning, feeling fresh and well rested. He got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, took a bath and went downstairs. He filled his mouth with a huge bite of the sandwich which Sam had made for him for lunch, on his way out of the house. He said goodbye to his father, mouth still filled with sandwich.

'_Do you need lunch money, since you no longer have any lunch left? ´ _His father shouted after him but he was already gone.

He reached school and met ash at his locker. He walked up to him and slapped him on the back.

'_Hey man, imp sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. You know I love you, right? ´_said dean, making a pouty face and batting his eyelashes, trying to look like a girl. He mostly looked like a jerk, but it still made ash smile.

'_What's not to love? Anyway, you're forgiven if you let me copy your calculus homework today. It's due in the 5__th__ period and I have no idea what I have to do. Deal? _'Said ash.

'_You got it!' _said dean as he walked down the corridor with his best friends towards his class.

The rest of the day was quite uneventful and things were the same as usual. Dean made evening plans with his friends and reached home by his usual time. As soon as he entered the house, he heard his father talking on the phone with someone.

'_Yeah, I think it'll be a good idea'_

'_Don't worry about that. There's no problem, I promise. We would love to have him here…'_

'_I insist. We can try it for a week and if he doesn't feel at home, I'll help him look for an apartment.'_

'_Great, so he can come over tonight, and then we'll see how it goes.' _

'_Yeah, okay, take care'_

John put down the phone and saw dean standing there, staring at him.

Dean knew what the phone call was about but he still wanted to make sure, '_hey dad, what was that about?'_

'_Oh, that was castiel's father. So, I talked to him and Castiel will come and stay with us for a week and if he feels comfortable here, he might stay here for a semester or two. He's going to college here, I told you. Remember? Anyway, he'll be coming over tonight.'_

Dean nodded in acknowledgement of his father's explanation of the phone call and went to his room. He felt weird at the thought of Castiel staying with him under the same roof for a week, or longer, depending on how things went. It was the same feeling he got last night. Something in his stomach, something he felt when he looked cas in the eyes, those blue eyes!

Wait, did he just call him 'cas' in his mind wile thinking about the feeling he gets in his stomach when he looks into his eyes. Dean Winchester does not think about his feelings in his spare time, let alone feeling towards a guy, no matter how beautiful their eyes are! He just called castiel's eyes 'beautiful'. What the hell is going on? Stop thinking and get to homework. You have plans this evening.

Dean finished his homework and listened to some music and tried irritating Sam for a while, winning himself the 'bitch face'. Around six o'clock he went downstairs and shouted to his father who was in the kitchen:

'_dad, imp going out. Will be back in a couple of hours.'_

'_Wait dean, Castiel will be here soon, where are you going?'_

'_I was going to go out with ash and Jo and Bella. You can't ask me to stay back again! I missed his birthday yesterday, dad! I'm going out today!'_

'_cool down, don't get to hyper. Just wait for a while, Castiel will be here soon. And then you can take him with you. Introduce him to your friends, make him feel at home. Come on dean, he'll be living here. He'll need some friends to adjust to this place.'_

As soon as his dad finished his sentence, there was a knock on the door. Dean went to answer it. It was Castiel. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt that matched his eyes.

'_hey dean. I…. uh, your dad invited me to spend some days here' _Castiel felt the need to explain what he was doing there, since dean looked at his like a deer caught in a headlight.

'_yeah, he told me... come on in... I'm sorry... I was a little distracted' _dean regained his composure. Damn those eyes!

Castiel picked up a bag that was lying next to him and came inside the house. Dean offered to take the bad from him, and his fingers brushed against cas'. He drew back he hand, as if he caught a current by the touch. If cas noticed, he didn't say anything.

'_hey Castiel, you're here! So, I have cleaned the room that is next to deans so you can have it. And I hope you feel at home here. The kitchen is over there. Feel free to help yourself as and when you wish and that's it. And yeah, welcome.' _Said john as he gave cas a hug.

Cas smiled.

'_oh cas, I mean.. Castiel, I was just going out to meet my friends. Would you like to join me? They'd be glad to meet you and then you won't have to be stuck in here till dinner.' _Dean joked as he winked at his father.

'_that'd be great. thanks dean.'_

'_oh, leave your stuff here; we can put it in its place after we come back. Let's go. Bye dad'_

Said dean and he and cas made their way out of the house and onto the street.


	4. meet my friends

**Chapter 4**

Dean and cas walked beside each other in complete silence for the initial few minutes. Dean was racking his brain to come up with something to say so that the silence didn't become too awkward, but he couldn't think of anything. He was cursing his brain, who refused to listen to him, off late. Suddenly he heard cas give a small laugh beside him. He turned his head to look at him. Cas seemed to find something really amusing in this whole situation.

'_what? _'dean asked.

'_nothing. It's just that I hardly know you, and everyone keeps telling me that we used to be best friends and it'll be just like old time when we get to spend time with each other. The funny thing is, I don't even remember what the 'old times' used to be like. And I've been walking beside you for the past few minutes, trying to figure out what to say, but I can't come up with a single thing.'_

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. Yeah, cas stating the facts did make the situation a lot more awkward but he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he was thinking the exact same thing just moments ago. This for some unknown reason made dean relax a little. Maybe he was thinking too much about not thinking about cas, maybe if he just stopped evaluating each one of his thoughts, related to cas, and reading too much into them, they could really become friends.( Not best friends though; he wasn't dumping Ash over anybody, ever!)

Dean was surprised how easily words flowed out of his mouth now that he felt relaxed.

He chuckled.

'_tell you what, you don't have to think about anything and do what you just did, say whatever comes to your mind. I know what you're thinking, and I won't deny that this whole thing that we have going on, it's really awkward. But maybe we can move past all the initial discomfort and just be ourselves. I have a feeling that everything is going to sort itself out.' _Said dean, and then he winked at cas. Cas smiled in return.

'_sounds good' _cas replied.

They walked and talked about random stuff strangers talk about when they are trying to figure the other person out. School, favorite food, music, movies, actors etc. the awkwardness had evaporated and both felt comfortable in each other's company. They walked a few blocks and finally reached their destination.

Dean was supposed to meet his friends at café oz and he could see them sitting there, laughing and chatting. As soon as dean saw them, he felt like turning away and leaving with cas. This had never happened to dean before. Dean never ever wanted to turn away from his friends. But right now, he felt like he barely knew cas, and he was desperate to get to know him better. His feelings confused him, but they were short lived, because soon after dean had spotted his friends, Ash saw dean walking toward them and called out his name, removing all thoughts from his mind.

Dean smiled at cas as they made their way towards the table which was occupied by a guy named ash and two girls.

'_cas, these are my friends, ash and Jo and Bella. Guys, this is cas. He's a friend of mine, and he'll b living at my place for a year or two to complete college here.' _ Dean introduced them to each other and sat down next to ash and cas occupied the seat between dean and Bella. Cas smiled at the fact that dean wanted him to stay with him for the long run. Even though both of them knew that cas was here only for a week as of now, and would extend his stay only if he felt comfortable, dean had told his friends that cas was here to stay. This made cas feel welcome and he was almost sure that he'd love to stay here for the following semester.

Dean's friends were really nice, and cas felt very comfortable with them. They kept pulling each others' legs and calling each other name. They kept trying to get cas' attention to tell him an embarrassing story about another one of them. Cas was having fun. He laughed at all their jokes and even though he was meeting them for the first time, he felt like he belonged.

Dean on the other hand was not too happy. Even though the thought of having cas to himself had left his mind and he had completely forgotten about it, he felt really annoyed as Bella was acting weird and embarrassing him in front of cas. At least that's what he told himself. No, she wasn't telling him stories about dean, that was being done by ash. Bella was drooling all over cas, and it was so obvious. She kept running her fingers along cas' arms and kept laughing in that shrill voice and kept leaning towards cas. Dean told himself that what was annoying him was the fact that she was acting so desperate in from of cas. What would cas think of his friends?

Cas was oblivious to dean's annoyance and Bella's flirting. He was having far too much fun listening to what Jo and ash had to say about dean and each other.

Dean was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts about Bella when he heard cas laugh at something that Jo had just said. Dean had lost track of the conversation long ago, but when he heard cas laugh, he was back. He looked at cas, watching him as his head moved forward and backward as he laughed. Dean found the sound of his laugh enchanting. Cas slapped dean on the leg while laughing, unconsciously. Dean looked at cas' hand on his thigh, which cas had just left there. He stared at his fingers resting on the curve of his thigh and all other thoughts left his mind. He lifted his eyes to find cas looking at Jo with a small smile on his face. Dean suddenly felt a pair of eyes on himself and found ash staring at him. Had ash noticed what dean was doing? Dean wasn't _doing_ anything! He couldn't possibly know what dean was thinking! Did he see him staring at cas? God! He was so screwed if he noticed! What'll he say to ash? What logical explanation did he have for what he was doing?

'_uh… it's getting late. We should get home. Let's go cas._' Dean got up from his chair, and cas' hand fell from his leg. Cas got up and said goodbye to everyone. He told them that he had a great time and then he and dean started to walk back home.

'home'… cas liked the sound of it…


	5. screwed senses

**Chapter 5**

Dean and cas started to walk back home. Dean felt this burning feeling in his stomach. Too many things were going wrong. He hated the way Bella was flirting with cas, touching him, leaning towards him… the mere thought of it made dean feel like throwing punches. Then, he hated the fact that Bella's flirting with cas had affected his so much. He knew, somewhere in the back of his head, that this wasn't only because he was worried about what cas would make of his friends from Bella's behavior but he refused to think any further and acknowledge the real reason, whatever it was. And then, he was mad because Ash had caught me staring at cas. Ash knew dean better than any of his friends. Hell, Ash knew dean better than dean knew himself. And if Ash thought that it meant something, and wanted to talk to dean about it, dean would no longer be able to just push these though at the back of his head and would really have to figure out what was happening to him. and he really didn't want to do that!

Dean was thinking all this, when he looked sideways and found cas looking at him.

'_everything okay, dean? You look angry. What happened?' _cas enquired.

Dean, touched by cas' concern, gave him a faint smile.

'_it's nothing. Don't worry. I'm okay. Let's get home, ok… I'm starving!'_

Cas didn't push any further, but gave dean a reassuring smile. Cas just wanted dean to know how grateful he was to him for making him feel welcomed and he just wanted dean to feel the same way.

They walked back home in silence, unlike the one they were surrounded by on their way to the café. This silence was comfortable. It was like they didn't need the words to fill the air, they were content with just the presence of one another. They didn't need to say how nice it had been, and that maybe their long forgotten friendship was on a path of recovery. The silence said everything and both of them understood it.

Sam opened the door for them, when they reached home.

'_hi dean. Sup? And you must be Castiel. We haven't met, but I'm Sam, dean's brother. It'll be nice to have you here. I'm looking forward to it. Anyway, you are here to complete college… so what courses do you have?'_

Cas gave dean a small smile before he went ahead to answer Sam's question. Cas seemed comfortable around Sam. Sam was different than john and dean... he was eager to learn new things and leave his mark on the world. He was ambitious and intelligent and full of life. Cas seemed to find in Sam, a little brother he never had. He answered all his questions about college applications and college life patiently.

Dean saw as Sam and cas got engrossed in a very detailed discussion about law as a career option and colleges with good law courses. Dean smiled to himself as he observed that Sam and cas seemed to like each other and were talking like they had known each other for years.

Dean left the two of them there and made his way to the kitchen, where he pulled out a bottle of beer from the fridge and made his way back to the living room. Cas and Sam were still buried deep in their conversation and dean had no interest in what they were talking about. Still, he sat opposite cas and Sam and drank his beer in silence. Hearing their voices, even though the words weren't being registered in dean's head, made him feel content. He sat there, drinking his beer, smiling and watching both of them having a very animated debate over something.

When john came home, they laid down the table and had dinner during which dean barely got a chance to speak as Sam and john kept asking cas about his life and studies and likes and dislikes. Pretty much the same conversation that dean and cas had already had on their way to the café earlier today. Cas kept looking at dean in between questions and passing him small smiles. Dean returned each one of them and grew a little warmer with each smile.

After dinner, Sam and john offered to clean up and asked dean to help cas unpack. Dean led cas upstairs and into his new room. He put cas' bags there and asked him to follow dean to his room. He showed him his music collection and DVD collection. They talked a bit about random stuff and then dean went back to cas' room and helped him unpack. dean sat on cas' bed and cas stood in front of the closet. as soon as he opened cas' bag to pull out his stuff and pass it on to him to arrange his closet, a sweet smell hit him and he closed his eyes as he drifted in the scent. It was cas' scent, which was in all his clothes and things. Dean took a deep breath taking in the scent that is cas, and looked over at him to see if he had noticed anything. Cas hadn't. he was standing in front of the closet measuring it up and deciding what to put where.

Dean lowered his eyes and started folding cas' clothes into a neat pile. He found himself eyeing cas from the corner of his eyes. He still felt a little overwhelmed because the scent. What was with this guy? Looking into his eyes made dean unable to speak. His touch made him feel warm and sent current through his body. Hearing him laugh left dean in awe and now inhaling his scent just made me forget where he was and made him want to curl himself in a ball surrounded by his clothes and never get up! Why was this guy screwing with dean's senses?

Even before he could let himself try to figure out the answer to this question, dean speeded up the process, and stood up.

'_cas, it's done. I've folded all the clothes and now you can arrange them. I should go. I have some homework for tomorrow. Goodnight. Sleep tight.'_

Dean said and quickly left the room, without giving cas a chance to reply. We entered his room and pushed his earphones into his ear and blasted his I-pod on full volume to erase all the thoughts which occupied his brain moments ago. He listened to heavy metal and did a little homework. He was just checking his e-mail when there was a knock on the door.

Since Sam and john never bothered to knock, he knew it was cas.

He took a second to compose himself and then shouted out

'_come in. hey, cas. What happened? Not able to sleep?'_

'_no dean, actually I was just going to sleep. I just came here to thank you for today, I had a great time. Your friends are really nice and so are your father and Sam. But most of all, you made things really simple and comfortable and you made me feel welcome. When I came here, I came because Michael pushed me to. I thought it'll be awkward and formal and we won't get along. I'm telling you this because I've realized that I was wrong. And all those people who told me that we'll get back to being friends as soon as we get two minutes together were in fact right. I'm really looking forward to be here and getting to know you better. Thanks dean. Goodnight'_

'_Goodnight.'_

As soon as cas left, dean started thinking about what he had just said and smiled to himself. He kept replaying cas' words in his head and smiling to himself till sleep came to him.


	6. falling sick

**Chapter 6**

The next morning, when dean woke up, the first thought that came to his mind was what cas had said to him last night and he smiled even before he opened his eyes. He then rubbed his eyes a little and got out of bed. He made his way to the bathroom which was across the corridor. As soon as dean passed cas' room, cas came out from the previously closed door of his room. Dean took a moment to realize that cas was out there and took some time to turn around. He saw cas standing there with a small smile on his face.

'_good morning dean. See you downstairs?'_

Can left before dean could reply. Dean was still a little sleepy and hence a little slow. What dean missed in the brief moment where he was turned away from cas, was that cas was staring at his back, not unlike dean stared at him the first time he saw him.

Cas had just woken up and as soon as he came out of his room, there he was, dean. Standing in nothing but his boxers. His broad shoulders, lean waist and those muscles! Cas just couldn't look away. The tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of him. cas was never like this. He rarely lost control of his emotions. It was just his nature. Truth be told, me never experienced strong emotions. Yeah sure, he left love towards his family and rage towards those who tried to hurt them and so on, but the emotions could never control him, he was always in charge. He never felt overwhelmed by feelings. So letting his feelings take over, that too when he was lustfully staring at a friend's back, was one of the weakest moments in cas' life. It surprised as well as shocked him. But he got back in control as soon as he had lost it. And just in time too. Because as soon as he lifted his eyes from where they lingered just above the waistband of dean's boxers, dean turned around. He said a quick good morning and left before dean would catch him blushing.

Dean got ready and went downstairs to find john Sam and cas sitting at the dining table. He joined them and greeted everyone with a chirpy good morning.

'_someone's in a good mood today. Who is it? Which girl are you going to take advantage of this time?' _ Sam said and won himself a stern look from his father and a smack on the head from dean. Cas looked at his hands, trying to block out what they were talking about. He really didn't want to hear about dean's accomplishment in this department right after he had checked him out.

'_shut up bitch!'_

'_jerk'_

'_I don't take advantage of them. If anything, I give them what they ask for. And just because I'm happy doesn't mean it's some girl.'_

'_wow dean, I didn't know you swing that way!'_

Sam was rewarded with another smack on the head at this. What everyone else missed was both cas and dean blushed in their seats.

'_well, it's time. Bye dad, Samantha, cas.'_

Dean left the house before he could see Sam's bitch face at being called 'Samantha'.

Dean came back in a few seconds.

'_hey cas, do you want to hang out after school today? I mean, if you don't have anything else to do.'_

'_uh…yeah… sure. But you don't have to hang out with me. It's fine by me if you want to go out with your friends'_

'_don't be silly. I'll pick you up after school. I bet you haven't seen the best parts of this town. Or if you have, you don't remember them.' _ Said dean as he winked at cas and left.

Dean's day in school was okayish. He tried to avoid ash as much as possible and succeeded. He knew he couldn't avoid ash forever but he needed to figure this out for himself before he could answer ash's question.

Ash understood what dean was doing and he had expected this so he didn't take it too hard. He knew that dean would talk when he was ready and if that wasn't soon enough, then ash knew how to force it out of him. but ash decided to give dean some time. Today was Friday, so if he wasn't ready to talk by Monday, then he'll have to come up with a different plan.

Cas' semester hadn't begun yet and so he mostly got bored while dean was at school. He ate, helped john in the garage, but it really wasn't his thing. He took a long shower and went to sleep. The dreamt of dean standing in front of him in his boxers and Sam saying, 'didn't know you swing that way' and giving him a sly smile. He woke up to get ready for meeting dean, who wasn't going to be home for another half an hour, but it was a good thing, as cas tried on almost all his cloths before he decided what he'll wear.

The doorbell rang and cas literally ran down the stairs, all nervous and excited. He opened the door to find john standing there. He was a little disappointed, but he covered it well.

'_hey Mr. Winchester, what are you doing home so early?'_

'_oh, I came back early. My brother called, and he wanted me and the boys to go over to his place for the weekend. He invited you as well. Anyway, I thought we'll leave tonight. So, are you up for it?'_

Cas tried to take this in. he didn't really know who this brother was and he didn't want to be the only outsider at a family get together. But he didn't want to be alone all weekend either.

'_yeah. It's okay with me'_

Dean entered the house exactly at that point.

'_what's okay?'_

'_dean, good you are here. Rufus called. He wanted us to come over for the weekend. I was just asking Castiel if he was up for it. And he is. So, you boys can go do, whatever you had planned and be back by 6 to pack your stuff and we can leave by 8, right after dinner. Suits you?'_

Dean loved Rufus. Even though Rufus was not his real uncle, his father and Rufus considered each other brothers. And dean didn't have to think twice before he said 'yes' to his father.

'_can I and cas leave now, dad?'_

Dean grabbed cas' wrist as soon as his father nodded and pulled him outside the house.

'_let's go. We have lots to do today! Okay, I would prefer to walk. Is it okay with you if we walk?'_

'_yeah, it's fine. So, how was school?'_

'_school was good. Tried to avoid ash the whole time. I just hope he's not too mad at me, when we finally do talk.'_

'_why were you avoiding ash?'_

Dean blushed at the question.

'_I just did something really stupid. And I think he's going to confront me and I'm really not ready to talk about it.'_

'_oh…'_

'_forget about it. So cas how was your day? What did you do?'_

'_nothing rea….'_

'_hold that thought. This is my favorite ice-cream parlor. You want to have ice-cream.'_

'_isn't it a little chilly for ice-cream?'_

'_don't be silly. It's twice as much fun to have ice-cream in the cold weather.' _ Dean passed cas a sweet smile and his eyes shone bright just like a little kid. Cas couldn't say no to him.

They walked inside the shop and dean asked cas what he'd like to have and then ordered the same thing for himself as well.

They walked out of the shop, with a cone of Belgium chocolate each in their hands and started walking down the street. Dean showed cas the public library, the park, the movie theatre, the mall, the post office, his school building and a couple more things. They made plans to visit some of them later sometime. Then they walked over to a bench in the park and sat down. They licked their ice-creams in silence, which was broken by the chirping of birds and the occasional sound of some kids playing at some distance.

They sat there for a few minutes and finished their ice-creams. When dean turned to cas to ask if they should leave, he saw that cas had smeared some ice-cream over his upper lip. Dean gave a short laugh.

'_you've got ice-cream on your face. No...there. to the right. You're useless. Come here.' _Dean said.

He licked his thumb and pulled cas closer and he rubbed his thumb over the ice-cream spot. Dean saw cas' lips. They were pink and looked so…. Kissable. Dean was hypnotized by them and couldn't look away. He rubbed his thumb over cas' lips and leaned in a bit.

A car passed behind them and honked loudly. Dean came back to his senses and drew back his hand and looked away from cas, embarrassed and confused. He felt a sudden rage rise inside him, towards himself, towards cas. He got up and started walking towards home. Cas called after him but he didn't turn back and so cas had to run a little to catch up with him. dean refused to look at cas, and even though it hurt cas like hell, he knew that trying to talk to dean would be no good when dean was in this mood. So cas didn't say anything and walked beside dean silently, which for some reason angered dean even more.

Dean was hoping that cas just forgot about it and never mentioned it to him, but when cas didn't, he felt angry at him. he was just too confused too comprehend what his feelings meant. They reached home and dean went to his room and locked it. He stayed in there for the rest of the evening and didn't come out even when Sam came to call him for dinner.

After a while john came upstairs and told dean that they'd be leaving in about half an hour and that cas wasn't coming with them.

Dean was shocked when he heard this.

'_why? What happened?'_

'_he is not feeling well. He has a little fever too. I gave him some medicine. I think it'll be better for him to rest for the weekend.'_

Dean had been with cas just two hours ago and he seemed fine. Dean felt this instant urge to go check on him, and be there, by his side, in case cas needed something. Concern and worry washed away all the rage he was previously feeling.

'_dad, can I stay back with cas? I mean, I know we haven't seen uncle Rufus in a long time and I was looking forward to meeting him, but cas is sick, and he should have someone to stay with him, in case it gets worse. We can't just leave him here, alone.'_

John heard what dean was saying and agreed to leave him with cas.

He told him to be careful and call him if they needed anything. He told him that he and Sam will be back soon and then they left.

Cas was sleeping all this while and so didn't know that dean had stayed back to look after him. dean opened the door to cas' room and peeked inside to find cas covered with a thick blanket, sleeping peacefully. He walked over to him and placed his hand on his forehead. He was a little warm, but maybe the medication was working. Dean stayed there, watching as cas' body moved with each breath he took. Dean just sat there for a while, looking at him, trying to make sure that he'll be okay. Then he said goodnight to the still sleeping cas and gave him a light kiss on the forehead and left the room.

Cas felt the kiss in his half asleep condition and even though he was more asleep than awake, he smiled to himself in his sleep.


	7. nursing cas back to health

**Chapter 7**

Cas woke up in the middle of night, disoriented. He didn't know where he was and why. It took him a couple of minutes to regain his senses. He recalled the events of the evening. He remembered how dean had pulled away from him and shut him out completely immediately after. He remembered how dean had slammed his bedroom door and refused to come out for the rest of the evening. He remembered how he felt his head throb with pain all of a sudden and realized that he was sick. He remembered that he was alone in this house with dean out of town for the weekend. That brief moment when he felt the moist imprint of dean's lips on his forehead was lost somewhere at the back of his head as he regained consciousness. He didn't even know that dean was still under the same roof, praying to god that when cas wakes up, he feels better.

Cas felt a little parched so he got out of the bed. His whole body felt stiff. How long had he been sleeping? He stretched a little bit, and by the creaking sound that his bones made on being shook out of their long acquired position, it was obvious that he hadn't moved for a long time. What time was it anyway? The clock on cas' bedside showed 3.15 AM.

Cas decided to go downstairs and get himself some water. He came down the stairs, pulling his robe protectively around his body. As soon as he came out of the warm confines of him room, he felt a shiver pass through his body. Maybe he still had fever. He'll check it later. He took small steps down the stairs and towards the kitchen. He entered the kitchen, opened the fridge and pulled out the jug of water. he reached for the glass.

'_cas! what are you doing down here? When did you wake up?'_

Cas dropped the glass which smashed into a million pieces when it hit the floor.

'_dean…' _cas whispered. Surprised to see dean standing in front of him.

'_where the hell are your slippers cas? just get away from the glass, okay. I don't want you to get hurt. Just back up, I'll clean it up. What are you doing out of bed?' _dean enquired as he started to clean up the floor. Cas bent down and started to pick up the pieces of glass with his bare hands, not looking down at all. He was staring at dean. Dean was here! And he was talking to him!

'_cas, you in there? Are you feeling okay?' _dean stopped for a moment, removed his cleaning glove and placed his palm on cas' forehead. Cas leaned into dean's touch. It was brief though.

'_you are burning up, man. No wonder you are not being able to process what I'm asking. I'll finish up here. You need to get in bed.' _Dean instructed cas with authority.

Cas was still not out of the shock of finding dean at home. He continued to stare at him. He was so engrossed in watching dean fuss over him, that he cut his hand on a piece on glass by mistake. He gasped lightly. Dean looked down to find cas' finger bleeding. Dean grabbed his hand reflexly and put his finger in his own mouth. He sucked the blood and kept the finger in his mouth for a couple more seconds, his face distort with worry.

'_watch out man! What are you doing? Just leave this stuff, okay? I'll clean it up. And before you get grossed out, human saliva has healing powers' _said dean, still holding cas' hand in both his hands.

Cas just continued to stare at him, as if he had lost his ability to form sentences. Dean helped him stand up and then and then placed his hands on his shoulders as he helped him up the stairs. He lead can into his room and took off his robe. He made him lie down and covered him with the thick blanket laying there, still a little warm from cas' body heat. He adjusted his pillow for him and asked him to open his mouth as he placed the thermometer under his tongue. He them waited for it to beep. Cas had high fever. 104^F. dean put down the thermometer and fetched some medicines and a glass of water from downstairs. He gave them to cas and helped him sit up as he swallowed the medicines. He then just sat next to cas and moved his fingers through his hair in a slow motion. Cas kept mumbling something incoherent. Dean didn't get what he was saying but dean kept saying 'yes' and 'hmmm' to ensure cas that he was still there and listening. Cas fell asleep soon after taking the medicines and dean just sat there; making sure that cas was okay. Even a little movement cas made, alerted dean. He tried to make sure that cas felt comfortable and kept touching his forehead to see if the temperature was going down. He sat there, looking after cas like a mother looks after a child, getting worried about every small noise that escaped cas' lips.

The next morning when Cas woke up, he found his head in dean's lap. He was drooling on dean's knee and dean's hand was entangled in his hair. Dean's head was a little tilted, resting on his own shoulder. Dean was still sleeping. Cas very carefully and slowly tried to wipe away the spit from the corner of his mouth and get up. Dean, whose hand was still in cas' hair, woke up startled, at cas' movement.

'_hey. Good morning cas. how are you feeling now?'_ dean asked as moved his hand down cas' face affectionately and then pulled it back immediately after.

Cas wasn't feeling good but he felt better than he felt last night.

'_I'm good.' _ He whispered and realized that his voice was horse due to lack of use. He sat up a little more comfortably and in the process moved a little away from dean. Cas didn't seem to notice it, but dean did, and he thought that cas had done it on purpose. Dean got up from the bed, pushing back the thoughts of cas not wanting dean near himself. Tough luck! Cas was sick and dean was going to take care of him whether he likes it or not!

'_well, in that case, you should freshen up and relax a little and I'll get the breakfast ready. You should eat something before you take the next doze of your medicine.' _Said dean and the grumbling noise that came from cas' stomach at this point agreed with dean.

Dean went downstairs to the kitchen and started preparing breakfast. He felt really sleepy as he hadn't really slept last night. He just splashed some water on his face from the kitchen sink and got to work.

Cas took a bath and got ready. He didn't bother to make an effort to look good like he did last evening because what's the point of looking good when he was feeling like shit on the inside.

Cas came out of the bathroom, tugging at his wet messy hair, and saw dean standing there with a tray in his hand. Dean got into cas' room and gestured him to follow. Dean asked cas to sit and then laid the tray in from of him.

'_dean, what is this? Why aren't we having breakfast downstairs?'_

'_well, because there is no need for us to go downstairs. It's just you and me in this house cas. we can eat wherever we want, plus, I think that you should avoid too much exertion. You should get as much rest as possible.'_

'_I'm fine dean. It's not like I'll collapse if I go downstairs. I just caught a cold and I always get high fever when I'm sick. You don't have to worry about me.'_

'_well, I do kind of have to. You see, I can't help it. It's a built in thing. I can't stop it. Anyway, eat your breakfast.'_

'_I thought you were down there preparing breakfast. What did you "prepare"? the cereal or the milk?' _cas said smiling lightly.

'_excuse me; I'm a really awesome chef! I just think that since you are sick and all, you should keep it light. A heavy breakfast might not suit your system, right now. Sorry, for caring too much!' _said dean jokingly.

Cas smiled affectionately at dean on hearing this and dean returned the smile.

They ate in silence and when they were done, dean took the tray back to the kitchen. He came back up and took cas' temperature. He had light fever, but dean still gave him the medicine to be on the safer side. He asked cas to lie down and when cas protested, saying that he had just woken up and didn't feel like going to sleep again, dean promised him that if he felt fine in the evening, they can go out. Cas agreed to this and lied down. Dean sat by his side just like he had done last night. Cas closed him eyes and the room was engulfed in silence.

After what seemed like a very long time, cas whispered dean's name. Dean, who had assumed that cas was sleeping, was startled at first but soon regained control.

'_yeas cas, do you need anything?'_

'_dean, why are you here?_

'_I'm sorry? What?'_

'_I mean, why did you stay back dean? Why didn't you leave with john and Sam?'_

There was a brief silence in which dean tried to figure out what to say.

'_I couldn't leave you here all by yourself. You are sick cas. I had to stay back to make sure you were okay.'_

'_but you seemed mad at me, when we came back from the park. You were ignoring me. Then why would you stay back to look after me.'_

Dean felt his cheeks grow warm at the question. He took some time and realized he didn't know how to answer the question.

'_I can never be mad at you cas.' _ said dean and smiled at cas before getting up and leaving the room, giving cas no time to say anything in return.


	8. nocturnal creatures

**Chapter 8**

Cas kept lying in his bed after dean left, remembering the small slime on dean's lips as he said the words that made cas feel warm on the inside. _I can never be mad at you cas._ cas felt a lot better just thinking about it, but before he even knew, he fell asleep, again. The medication for his cold was making him drowsy and so he had no control over his sleep cycle.

Dean rushed downstairs wishing that he could run away from the confession he'd just made. Of course, what he said wasn't a big deal and nothing that had to mean more than just a friend comforting a sick friend, but for the first time in all his awkward and embarrassing and confusing encounters with cas, did he admit that when he said what he had said, he had meant it as more than a friend. For the first time, he wasn't wishing for ash or cas to forget about him staring or leaning in, it was his own memory he wanted to alter. For the first time he wasn't worried about convincing others but worried about facing the truth himself.

All these thoughts crossed his mind and by the time he was at the end of the stairs, he had the answer. He was attracted towards cas. And not just in a long-lost-friends-meet-again kind of way, but in an everytime-i-see-you-i-want-to-kiss-you-and-feeling-this-way-scares-the-shit-out-of-me way. And in dean's case, it was just a lot of shit to deal with that any ordinary person. Dean was not ready for this. He was never going to be ready. The thought that cas might not be into him or into guys at all didn't even came to dean's mind. He was still trying to figure out a way to either stop feeling what he was feeling towards cas, or at least block it till he was ready to deal with it.

As soon as the realization hit him, he went into the 'push it to the bottom' mode and refused to let his mind wander in that direction. But it was a lot tougher now that it was when he just refused to acknowledge the fact that what he felt for cas was more than just friendship.

Dean needed some air, and some time away from cas. he wrote a note saying that he was going out to get groceries and would be back in a while and stuck it on the fridge in case cas woke up and came downstairs looking for him. He then left the house and walked in the direction opposite to the one he usually went in. he was carrying his I-pod with him and so he did what he did always when he was trying to avoid thinking about something. He put on his headphones and blocked out all the other noises, including his brain shouting at him to be a man, and deal with this stuff. He just walked aimlessly on the streets and listened to ac/dc and zeppelin. He walked for a while and then just sat at a bench at a corner of some street. He sat there for a long time observing people around him and listening to music.

When he finally got up, he went to the grocery store to pick up some things In case cas questioned him later and then walked back home. When he reached home, cas was still sleeping.

Though dean desperately wanted to go check on him, and see if he was okay or if he still had fever, he stayed downstairs. He was in denial, and he refused to see things for what they were. He just lied down on the couch and watch re-runs of Dr. Sexy MD and fell asleep right there. He had got barely any sleep last night and he was really tired. He fell asleep quite quickly.

Ca woke up after what seemed like an eternity. He stomach grumbled with hunger. He hadn't eaten for a long time. It was 11.00 PM. Cas had slept all day! He was supposed to go out with dean in the evening. He felt angry at himself for sleeping throughout the day. Even though he felt better, and probably his temperature was back to normal, he was starving. He got out of bed and went downstairs. Before he could get into the kitchen, he heard some noises coming from the living room and decided to go and check if dean had called over his friends. Cas entered the living room and discovered that the sounds were coming from the TV which was switched on. Dean was lying in front of the TV, on the couch, curled up into a ball as if he was really cold. He smiled at the sleeping image of dean and went back to his room to fetch his blanket for dean. He covered dean up with the blanket and ran his fingers through his hair affectionately. He looked at him, taking in the site in front of him; dean looked so peaceful and serene when he slept. Cas smiled again and then made his way to the kitchen.

Cas made himself a sandwich and poured himself a glass of orange juice. He came back to the living room, sat down opposite to dean and ate his sandwich in silence, observing the sleeping form of the boy in front of him. Even though he was starving, he chewed slowly, making sure that he didn't make too much noise that may wake dean up.

He was halfway through his sandwich when dean finally woke up. Dean saw cas sitting there, looking at him and blushed. He had just discovered that he might be attracted towards this guy and he was sitting right there in front of him. dean was caught up in cas' eyes. Those oh-so-blue eyes! Dean cleared his throat, finally snapping out of his state of awe and said in a very hoarse morning voice, _'hey cas. you are up. How are you feeling?' _dean rubbed away sleep from his eyes and sat up little.

'_I feel much better, dean. Thank you.'_

'_what time is it?'_

'_it's around 11.30. I was feeling really hungry, so I made myself a sandwich. Do you want one?'_

'_uh... yeah... that sounds good. No... you wait here… I'll get it. _'said dean as he stood up and left the room.

Dean was back pretty soon with his sandwich. He and cas sat next to each other and ate their sandwiches. They flicked through the channels on the TV and found nothing worth watching.

Since neither of them was feeling sleepy, they decided to watch a movie. Dean put the DVD in the player and came back to sit next to cas. dean, who was now aware of his feeling towards cas thought it best to maintain some distance and left a little space between him and cas. they watched the movie for half an hour or so, when cas said that he was feeling thirsty and stood up to fetch a can of coke of himself and dean asked him to get one for him too. Cas returned and sat closer to dean, removing the distance which was there between them minutes ago. Cas' thigh brushed against deans and dean was very aware or the innocent touch. His leg was tingling at the point of contact. They were halfway through the movie when cas, in the process of getting into a more comfortable position, moved and spilled his coke on dean's lap. Cas became frantic all of a sudden and started babbling apologies while he rubbed dean's lap with a towel, trying to clean up the mess. It had a very adverse affect on dean who felt his member twitch at cas' touch. Cas oblivious to dean's condition, continued to rub frantically at the stain. Dean couldn't take it anymore and stood up all of a sudden, very embarrassed and turned on. Getting up, away from cas' touch was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

'_it's okay cas. I'll just go to the bathroom and get cleaned up.'_ Said dean and went upstairs. He took suspiciously long to clean up but cas didn't give it much thought. When dean was finally back, they resumed the movie and continued to watch. Dean again made sure that he left some distance between the two of them.

By the time the movie was over, they still weren't sleepy at all, and so they decided to watch another movie. This time, cas chose the movie of his choice and got up to change the disk. He came back and sat closer to dean, just like he had done before and dean cursed him in his head.

When they were halfway through the movie, cas tilted his head and laid it on dean's shoulder absent mindedly. Dean instantly became really stiff and aware of the contact. He held his breath, not moving at all.

Suddenly there was lightening and thunder outside. Cas, surprised by the sound of thunder, clutched dean's t-shirt at his chest and pulled him closer. Cas' face was buried in dean's shoulder and he mumbled into it,

'_dean, want to know something really stupid? I'm afraid on thunderstorms.'_

Dean, who had till now been stiff, relaxed at cas' words and felt a sudden wave of affection pass through his whole body. He wrapped his one arm around cas' back, and petted his head with the other one, pulling him closer and whispered into his ear. '_don't be afraid cas, I'm here' _Cas loosened his grip on dean's t-shirt but kept his hand on his chest and he relaxed a little in dean's embrace. They stayed that way for a couple of moments, during which the sound of thunder grew louder outside. Cas finally looked up, into dean's eyes and smiled. Dean smiled back at him. they kept looking at each other, without needing words to convey what they were feeling.

After the long moment in which they stared into each other's eyes, they got back to the movie. Dean didn't try to leave space between them this time. He wrapped his hand around cas' shoulder and cas leaned into dean's body. Dean pulled the blanket over them and they both sat under the warmth of the blanket, bodies fitting like a puzzle piece and both knowing that the other will always be there for them. They watched the movie knowing that whatever confusion they felt, wasn't going to mess up this thing they had. No matter if the other felt the same way they did, nothing will ever take away this friendship from them. The movie ended and so did the thunderstorm, and the first rays of sun came in through the window and dean and cas just sat on the couch, cas wrapped in dean's arms.


	9. the big revelation!

**Chapter 9**

so when dean woke up next….afternoon. wow! Afternoon already? Where did the morning go? Anyway, when dean finally woke up, he found cas drooling on his shoulder, snuggled into him. dean was surprised that he didn't panic or pull away from his touch. That would have been a very "dean" thing to do. Instead he wrapped his hands more tightly around the sleeping cas, and smiled at this realization, which surprised him further.

Dean's phone buzzed suddenly and when he saw who it was, he was back to his old self, as he pulled away from cas so fast, that cas' face hit the couch before he could even gain consciousness.

Cas rubbed his eyes, trying to comprehend what was happening while dean answered the phone.

'_hey ash, what's up, man? _

_Oh… yeah, cas was sick, so I was looking after him. _

_no…. _

_he's okay now. _

_Yeah. _

_Yeah, man. _

_So you okay with lunch?_

_I know._

_See you, then.'_

And dean hung up the phone.

Then he looked at cas, who still looked sleepy and confused. _Oh god! He looks so adorable when he is confused!_ Dean put a halt to his train of thoughts and grinned at cas.

'_good morning sleeping beauty. Feeling fine? Listen, I'm going out to meet ash. We...uh… we have some stuff to figure you be okay at home?'_ dean asked cas.

'_Hmm… yeah, I guess so. Oh, wait! I needed to go to the public library and get some reference books for my college. Is it okay if I walk with you?'_

'_yeah, totally. Freshen up and then we'll leave.'_

Cas got up and went to the bathroom. He got ready quickly and came back downstairs. Dean was also ready. Dean dropped cas at the library and went to ahead to meet ash.

Dean and ash were going to meet at the same park where cas and dean had been two days ago. It was a quiet place and dean really wanted to talk to someone about this mess he was in (another very unlike "dean" thing he'd be doing) and there was no better person than ash to talk to. Dean knew that ash would never judge him.

When dean reached the park, ash was already there and he was sitting on the same bench that dean and cas had used. Dean walked up to him and gave him an unsure smile. Dean couldn't guess if ash was mad at him for ignoring him the other day.

'_hey ash. Look, before you say anything, I'm sorry for that shit I pulled on you the other day. Not taking your calls and ignoring you and stuff. And I have something really important to tell you, and it'd be great if you're not mad at me when I tell you…'_

'_I'm not mad at you, man! I'm worried! Anyway, I'm all ears. What is it? I think I know, but it'll be better if you tell me yourself.'_

'_uh… let's start with what you do know. So... what do you know ash?'_

'_I'm not doing this, dean! you need to figure this out for yourself. And saying it out loud is a part of figuring it out! I can tell you what you want to hear and you and I both know what we are talking about but you need to be the one to say it. Say it, man!'_

Dean, who was determined to get it all out and get someone else's opinion on the situation when he left the house, wasn't very sure anymore if he could do it. He looked at his hand, refusing to meet ash's eyes.

'_it's okay dean. You can say it. There is nothing wrong with it, trust me.' _Ash encouraged dean.

Cas, who realized that he couldn't issue any books as he hadn't brought his library card as soon as he entered the library, decided to find dean and ash as he couldn't go back home because he didn't have a key. He had checked almost all the places that had been a part of dean's tour of the town and had just walked into the park. He saw dean and ash sitting on a bench, in deep conversation.

He walked up to them and could hear them talking.

'_fine! I'll say it. But there's more than you think, ash. I don't like him, ash. I'm in love with him! it's not like I've always had feeling for guys. It's just him. I don't know what's happening! I'm so confused. I doing and saying stuff I've never said before. I'm feeling like I've never felt before. And you know, how they say that being in love is an amazing thing? They are wrong! The feeling is not amazing at all times. Those butterflies that you're supposed to feel in your stomach, they are starting to hurt! I don't know who long I can go before I finally explode! I don't know what to do!'_

'_its okay, dean. It'll all be okay. We'll figure it out.' _ Ash tried to console dean. Dean turned to face ash and looked him in the eyes, and cas who was standing at a distance, unnoticed by ash and dean saw a film of unshed tears in dean's eyes.

'_I'm in love with him, ash. I'm in love with cas!'_


	10. denial

**Chapter 10**

Cas just stood there, his whole body going numb all of a sudden. Dean's words were booming in his head. He felt the hair on his arms and face rise, when he finally realized what dean had meant when he had said what he had said. Before he could try to think about the matter any further, he turned around and walked away as fast as he could. He didn't look back, or think about what dean might say next or wait to watch ash's reaction to dean's words. He just left, too overwhelm by this turn of events.

He reached home and sat on the stairs in front of the house, since he couldn't get in.

He went over everything in his head, every moment that he'd spent with dean. He liked dean so much! Dean had been so nice to him and it was like they had known each other forever. But 'love'! he hadn't bargained for this! Hell, he wasn't gay! He did NOT feel the same way about dean. Dean had come into his life just two days ago, as far as he was concerned. And cas does not fall in love this fast. And the most important thing, he does not fall in love with members of the same freaking gender! This cannot be happening! This is so wrong in so many ways! He has to live here, for crying out loud! What will he tell Michael?

Every moment that he had spent with dean till now, seemed dirty to him, every touch seemed polluting! Maybe, somewhere at the back of his head, he knew that what he was thinking was utterly ridiculous and that he was acting like a freaking homophobe, which till now he didn't know he was, but that "somewhere" was buried deep at the back of his head, and his rational side was losing the battle to his pissed off side.

Cas sat there for god knows how long, thinking about all this stuff, and by the time dean came back, he was so mad at dean (without any apparent reason) that he couldn't even look at him.

'_hey cas, I stopped by the library but you weren't there. How long have you been waiting out here? I'm sorry, I'm late. Me and ash…well, we had to figure out some stuff. Anyway, I brought dinner, I hope you are fine with cheeseburgers?' _said dean.

Dean was back to his old self, the teary-eyed guy that cas had seen in the park lost behind that stupid grin! But dean's eyes gave away. His eyes still held the same pained and scared look that they had in the park. When cas noticed this, it seemed to infuriate him even more. _He can't just turn my world upside down and then have that look in his eyes! If he is feeling that bad, he deserves it. He is the one who went ahead and ruined everything!_

Cas pulled out of his thoughts and gave dean a cold stare and said, _'it's Castiel.'_

'_sorry, what?'_ dean looked confused.

'_you called me cas. my name is Castiel.'_ Cas knew he was being stupid but he couldn't help it.

Dean gave cas a long look, as if trying to figure out what he was thinking, and just when cas was about to snap under dean's stare, dean turned around and unlocked the door. They entered the house and dean turned to cas and said, '_hey, you can go and freshen up and I'll lay the table.'_

Why was dean being so nice to him when cas was clearly acting as if he was PMSing? Oh yeah, because dean was in 'love' with him, that's right! Even though cas was thinking this stuff, he knew that dean wasn't just nice to him because he loved him. he knew that dean was an amazing person, who was very caring. He could see that people around him, his friends, relatives and even people, who didn't spend too much time with him, like the librarian at the public library, loved him.

_What the hell is wrong with you? Not two minutes ago, you were sitting on the porch, thinking of every possible reason to hate this guy, and now you are thinking about everyone loving him? are you freaking insane? _

_I am talking to myself, inside my brain, maybe I AM insane!_

_Shut up! You know you like him. you know you've liked him from the day he called you 'cassie' at the party. You felt something when you heard that word come out of him mouth. And last night, the warm feeling inside your stomach, that you got when he put his arm around your shoulders, it wasn't his body heat making you feel warm, you jackass! _

_I DO NOT like him! he's a guy, for crying out loud!_

_So, its okay for you to check out is ass with lustful eyes, when he's walking to the bathroom in his boxers, but its oh-so-gay for you to admit that you might actually like him?_

Cas was having a battle of thoughts in his head and all these thoughts were driving him crazy.

'_dean, is it okay if I have my dinner in my room? I'm not feeling too good.'_

'_what happened? Do you have fever?'_

Dean stepped forward and put his palm on cas' forehead to check if he had fever and cas took a step back immediately.

Dean gave him a confused look.

'_no, it's nothing. I'm just tired, I guess.' _Said cas and started walking towards his room even before dean could say anything.

Dean knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what. Why was cas so mad at him? had he done something wrong? Even though cas' recent behavior confused dean, he didn't take it too personally. Talking to ash about his 'situation' had made him feel a lot better. And ash's approval also meant that he didn't feel like what he was feeling was wrong or against the course of nature or some other crap that he'd been thinking till now.

Dean put the burgers on two plates and carried them upstairs. He thought he'd try and talk to cas to see if he was okay.

The door to cas' room was locked. Dean knocked but got no reply. He understood that cas needed some time to himself and walked back to the living room where he watched some TV while he had his dinner.

He then tried knocking on the door again after around 2 hours and got no reply. He wrote a note on a piece of paper and slid it under the door.

_Cas, I know you haven't eaten anything since afternoon and you must be starving. Even if you are not feeling hungry, I think you should eat something, because it's really not good to take your medicines on an empty stomach. I understand if you want to spend some time alone. I'm going to my room and in case you decide to come out and get some food, you won't have to encounter me. Just eat something, please!_

Cas read the note and before he knew it, tears welled up in his eyes. All that confusion that he'd been feeling, that anger, guilt, fear… all vanished when he read dean's note. He could actually imagine dean writing the note, in a hurried manner, so that he could get all his thoughts out at once and didn't miss anything, he could imagine his forehead crinkled with worry as he concentrated hard on writing the note. The pure love and care associated with the note brought tears to cas' eyes. He felt like an ass for having behaved the way he did. And in that moment, he admitted to himself that he did in fact love this man. The fact that he was a guy or that he'd technically known him for only 2-3 days, didn't bother him anymore. He wasn't worried about what people would say or how things will turn out. He just knew that all these things didn't matter anymore.

He kissed the note that he held in his hand, got out of bed, wiped his tears and got out of his room. He went downstairs and got himself a burger. On his way back to his room, he pulled out a small piece of paper and wrote a note in a very beautiful Edwardian script, which he knew that dean would later mock and slipped it inside dean's room, which was now locked on the inside.

_Thank you & I'm sorry._

Cas went back to him own room, lay down in his bed and put the note from dean under his pillow and went to sleep.


	11. classic freak out!

**Chapter 11**

Next morning when cas woke up, the first thought that came to his mind was of the note that dean had written for him. he pulled it out from under his pillow and read it. He brought it close to his face and inhaled deeply, to take in the scent that was dean's. cas smiled at the familiar scent and it just made him want to give dean a tight hug and never let go… wow! So much from a guy who was a homophobe yesterday!

Cas was surprised at how much dean meant to him. Yesterday, he was mad at dean for ruining their friendship and now he was sniffing his note!

Cas got out of bed, stretched a little, and then left his room to get into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, took a bath and went downstairs. Dean was at the dining table with his earphones in place, eating cereal-lucky charms.

_Aww…. He looks adorable! _Thought cas. He walked up to dean, who hadn't noticed cas' presence yet, because of the loud music blaring in his ears.

Cas sat down on the chair opposite to dean and smiled at him when he looked up. Dean pulled out the earphones and smiled back.

'_morning cas. I mean, Castiel. You're up! How are you feeling?' _Even though there was not a hint of anger in dean's tone, cas felt a pang of guilt when he remembered how he'd behaved last evening. When his smile faltered at the thought of his own actions, dean thought that he wasn't feeling well.

'_hey, I can take a day off if you're still feeling sick. Dad and Sam won't be back today. They are staying for a couple more days. Dad has talked to the principal about Sam's absence. Anyway, like I was saying, I can stay home if you want.'_

'_what? uh... no. im sorry, I was just lost in thought.'_

There was a brief pause, in which no one said anything.

'_listen dean, I have to say something...' _cas began. He was cut short by the honking sound that came from outside.

'_that's for me. Bella is giving me a ride to school. We'll catch up after school?' _said dean.

'_yeah sure.'_ Said cas, and he gave dean a smile before dean exited the house.

Cas was a little upset, since he really wanted to apologize, but he couldn't. he'd totally forgotten that dean would have to go to school today. He was just thinking this when dean came back and said-

'_cas, are you sure you're feeling okay? Because if you're not, I can totally stay back. It's no big deal!' _asked dean, concern evident in his voice.

'_I'm fine dean. You go ahead, have a nice day. I'll be okay.'_

With that, dean left the house. Cas smiled to himself at the thought that dean cared so deeply about him. he wanted to kick himself hard whenever he thought about what an ass he'd been yesterday!

After dean had left, cas poured himself some milk in a bowl and sat down to eat his cereal from the box that dean had left on the dining table. He sat down and thought about dean and everything that he'd felt towards him. he'd known this guy for such a short time and his feeling towards him had been like a roller coaster ride and he'd experienced so many strong emotions in these three days that he hadn't even realized existed before he had met dean.

Thinking about dean gave cas a feeling he couldn't put a finger on. It was a very strong emotion, an amalgamation of too many different feelings – fear, love, guilt, longing, pain, happiness, nostalgia, awe, admiration, lust. All of these together gave rise to something which cas found difficult to handle.

Cas decided to stop thinking about dean (as if it was in his hands!) and get to work. He cleaned up his room a bit. He hadn't got around to cleaning up the mess since he fell ill, and even though dean had been kind enough to not let it get too messy, cas knew that it was time he got to cleaning it.

He did some research for his college courses online and talked to a couple of old friends. He slept for a bit, ate some more when he woke up and then, when he realized he had nothing else to do, he vegged out in front of the TV and fell asleep, AGAIN! He was not sick anymore, and he had no excuses for his lethargy. Then again, no one was there in the house to question his actions.

Dean knew that his feeling towards cas where getting a lot stronger, now that he had confessed in front of ash, saying something out loud, does make it seem more real. So, dean couldn't run away from his feelings anymore. That's why he had to get out of the house fast this morning. He couldn't take looking into those beautiful eyes, and observe those soft pink lips move as they formed sentences and then concentrate on what they meant. He wasn't sure if he being around cas was such a good idea. But the only problem here was, they lived together! Dean knew that he couldn't possibly stay away from cas, not when they were under the same roof. So as dean walked back home, after school, he tried to calm himself down, and play the role of a friend that he was required to play.

He entered the house and found cas sleeping on the couch. He walked up to him, and sat down beside him. cas woke up, startled, even though dean had made no sound.

'_hey dean, you're back. How was your day?'_

'_morning, cas. my day was good. What did you do all day?'_

'_nothing much. Listen, can we talk. about yesterday?' _said cas, sitting up a little.

'_what about yesterday?'_

'_I'm sorry. I know I was being a jerk, and I know you didn't deserve to be treated that way and I'm really sorry! I don't know what got into me. I just want you to know that you are bestest friend I have here, and I don't want to lose you, ever!' _cas' hand moved to cup dean's face on their own, as cas desperately tried to explain himself. He didn't even realize that his hands were cupping dean's face.

Dean felt himself drowning the ocean of blue that were cas' eyes. Dean couldn't think straight. He had lost his ability to form sentences. He just stared. After a long silence, in which cas grew even more scared of what dean might say dean whispered, his voice hoarse with desire and lust, '_cas…'_

And instead of saying anything dean closed the distance between them, leaned towards cas, and their lips met in a soft kiss.

The kiss was soft and slow, just the brushing of lips and no tongue. But then, something happened. Cas kissed dean back, which sparked something in dean. The kiss grew more passionate and heated, as if they were trying to convey their pent up feeling through the kiss. Dean's lips bruised cas' as dean entangled his fingers in cas hair to keep him in place. Dean's tongue flicked against cas' bottom lip, begging entrance which cas willingly gave. Dean's tongue met cas' and they fought for dominance, a fight that was won by dean. Dean sucked on cas' lower lip, drawing a moan from him. he nibbled at cas' lower lip and then moved to his neck. When dean left cas' lips, cas' breathing was heavy, his eyes were closed and his mind was lost. Dean licked the vein that pumped loudly on cas' neck and then laid wet kisses on his neck, all the way to his collar bone, where he began to bite and leave marks. Dean's hands moved inside cas' t-shirt and were moving all over the expanse of cas' chest and abdomen. Dean continued to bite at the same point, making cas moan louder this time. Both of them were caught up in the heat of the moment. They were lost in each other.

And then happened the most damnable thing ever! Sam shouted from the driveway, '_dean! We're home!' _

Dean froze right in his tracks, his tongue sticking out and in contact with cas' neck. Dean pulled back at the speed of lightening as Sam's footsteps grew closer. He looked at cas, who was looking at him. cas was looking at dean, as if to ask, what came next, and this for some reason freaked dean out. He had no idea where this was going or what came next. His eyes grew big and cas knew in an instant that dean was freaking out. Cas needed to stop this. He needed to comfort dean and tell him that they'll be okay, but as soon as cas moved his hand and put it on dean's arm, dean pulled back and walked away. Dean walked over to the front door, where he greeted Sam and dad, who for some apparent reason had come home earlier than planned. cas sat there on the couch, numb. Dean didn't even spare him a backward glance. Cas knew that the damage had been done and that now it was going to be really difficult to sort this shit out. Dean continued talking to Sam and john about their trip. Cas greeted them in a polite but emotionless manner, (which they didn't seem to notice) made some excuse about research work he had to do and went back to him room where he locked himself and cried.

He had changed himself overnight for dean, he had given up on societal norms and approval from his family or friends, just to be with dean, and he wasn't going to give up now! He knew dean loved him and now it was time dean admitted so in front of cas! cas was going to make dean realize that they were meant to be together. He was going to make dean fall in love with him all over again!


	12. game on!

**Hey everyone, I just wanted to thank you for your reviews and for adding this story to your alerts or favorites… this is my first fic, and I really wasn't sure about it. Your reviews really encouraged me to continue writing and I loved all of them! And I'd like to make a special mention, nutmeg17, if it weren't for you, this fic wouldn't have existed! Thank you so much for you constant support and encouragement! You are loved! 3 **

**Chapter 12**

After an hour or two, when cas had calmed down and was ready to deal with the situation, he heard dean walk back to his room and close the door. Cas got out of his room and knocked on the door to dean's room.

'_dean, can I talk to you?' _no reply

'_dean, we need to talk about it.' _Long pause.

Dean unlocked the door and stuck his head out.

'_yes cas, what do you want?'_

'_dean, you know what I want. I want you to talk to me about what happened down there like a grownup'_

'_Sam and dad came back early, Rufus had to leave for some work thing.'_

'_I'm not talking about them coming back earlier than planned. Dean, stop behaving like this! You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about our kiss!'_

Dean pulled cas into his room at these words and closed the door.

'_what is wrong with you cas? are you insane? What if dad or Sam had heard you?'_

'_I don't care dean. We need to have this conversation, right now.'_

'_It was nothing okay? It just happened. I don't want to talk about it ever again! It didn't mean anything.'_

'_really? The kiss didn't mean anything? okay, what about you confessing that you are in love with me in front of ash? Was that something you said in the heat of the moment too?' _ said cas, getting annoyed at dean's behavior.

Dean was shocked at cas' words. _How the hell did he know this?_

'_what?'_

'_I heard you and ash talking about this in the park yesterday and that's why I freaked out. But then I realized that I feel the same way, and now you are acting like an idiot! This is just as hard for me as it is for you dean. I'm new at this too. And I need to you be there with me. We can figure this out together. Just stay with me, okay?' _cas extended his arm to reach dean but dean backed away. He saw red.

'_you eavesdropped on me and ash talking?' _asked dean, really angry and hurt.

'_I wasn't eavesdropping. I just happened to be there and I overheard you guys. It doesn't matter dean. what matters is that I love you and I know you love me!'_

But cas' reassurances had no affect on dean, who was really angry at cas.

'_I think we've talked enough cas. I think I've made it clear that no matter what you heard me say yesterday, I am not in love with you now. I think you should leave. It's getting late. I have to go to sleep.'_

Just because cas understood that dean didn't mean what he was saying and that he was just freaking out and that he'd come around eventually, didn't mean that dean's words didn't hurt him like hell.

'_if that's what you believe dean, then I'll leave. Thank you for making it clear that there is nothing between us. Goodnight.'_

With that cas left without a backward glance and as soon as dean heard the door of cas' room shut, he knew that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life!

Cas came to him room and instead of crying like he had done earlier this evening, made a plan that would force dean to admit his love for him. once his plan was in place, he slept peacefully.

Next morning when cas woke up, he stayed in bed till he heard the door to dean's room open. He jumped out of his own bed and ran towards the door and opened it just in time to "accidentally" bump into dean. dean, who was still half asleep, caught cas in his arms almost reflexly. And then, dean was not so asleep. Dean realized that both of them stood in the hallway, dean arms wrapped around cas' waist, in just their boxers. Dean, who usually slept like this was surprised to find cas in his boxers as cas always put on a robe or some cloths before he left his room. Cas' skin came in contact with dean's flesh, making the Goosebumps on dean's body, rise. Dean stared at cas, wide eyed, while cas pretended to rub his eyes sleepily. Then lifted his eyes slowly, and dean's cock twitched as soon as his eyes made contact with cas' blue eyes! Dean just stood there, holding cas, mesmerized and very turned on.

Just then, cas decided to regain his balance and stepped away from dean. dean was very embarrassed to find himself wanting more. Cas looked at dean, from head to toe. His eyes lingered at the tent forming in dean's boxers. He smirked and then left, leaving dean standing there, blushing.

Dean took a very long shower, a very long, cold shower and then came downstairs to have breakfast. Sam and john were still asleep as they were tired from yesterday's journey.

Cas was already at the dining table, now dressed in a pair of jeans that were tight in all the right places and a blue t-shirt which brought out the color in his eyes even more, if that was humanly possible.

Dean sat down opposite to cas, trying to avoid being rude by eating someplace else, even though he really wanted to. Cas sat there, licking nutella from the jar that was in front of him.

Dean poured himself some cereal and when he looked up, he couldn't look away. He stared as cas put his chocolate covered finger in his mouth and sucked on it, humming around his finger and making erotic sounds as he licked the tip. He continued to do this. He made slurping noises and a soft moan, now and then. He stuck out his tongue and licked the finger in a very slow teasing movement. Dean was past the point of caring if cas noticed that he was staring in a very impolite manner. Dean's jeans were growing tighter every second! He continued to stare and was saved when he heard a car honk outside.

But there was a problem. Dean was very hard by this time and he couldn't get up and walk to the door. He didn't want cas and Bella to see the problem he was having.

'_cas, can you tell Bella that I'd be out in a second? I just need to get some books from my room.'_ Said dean.

Cas understood what was happening and went outside and smirked as he walked towards the front door... his plan was working like a charm!

As soon as cas left, dean tried to think of dead rabbits… bloody dead rabbits. Even though it was slow, but the gory pictures in his mind did the trick and he calmed down. He slung his bag over his shoulder and exited the house. He walked towards the car to find cas bent over, elbows resting on the rolled down window of the car, hips sticking out, head halfway inside the window cavity. Cas was talking to Bella. Cas moved is hips as on purpose, pretending like he was shifting his weight from one foot to the other. The movement caught dean's eyes and he was stuck. He couldn't look away! Damn that oh-so-sexy ass!

Dean walked closer, trying to listen to what cas and Bella were talking about. Bella was laughing in that high pitched tone again, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger as she talked.

'_maybe we can meet up after school today and I can show you around. You don't have to get bored, you know. I promise I'll make it worth your while.' _Said Bella and then she winked at cas.

'_maybe instead of going out, you can come home after school, and I'll make it worth __your__ while. Dean's given me a tour of the town anyway, and trust me, I can make your visit much more interesting than the tour!' _ said cas, in a flirty, sexy tone. He brushed his fingers against Bella's arm on purpose which made Bella blush. Dean watched all this. His ears grew really hot all of a sudden. He felt this huge wave of anger pass through his whole body. He wanted to punch cas in the face and then smash him into the wall and when cas was all needy and in pain, kiss the hell out of him, that too in front of Bella, so that she gets the message loud and clear!

Wait! What? What the hell is he thinking? Dean opened the door on his side, and pushed cas off his balance a little, and got inside the car.

'_move already Bella. I asked you to give me a ride because I don't want to be late to school. What's the point of riding with you, if I'm late anyway?' _said dean in a very angry tone.

'_geez! Relax dean. we won't be late. See you later cas!' _said Bella and blew cas a kiss as the car started moving.

Dean was so mad at cas! what the hell was he thinking? Dean knew now that cas had done all this on purpose. The boxer shorts, the chocolate licking, the flirting. It was all cas' way of getting back at dean. and dean deserved it. He knew he was being a jerk. He knew that no good was coming from what he was doing. But his dad and Sam had arrived in the middle of his very first and very hot gay make out session and then cas told him that he knew that dean loved him. all this was too much for dean. yes, he did love cas, but that didn't mean he was ready to shout it to the world. He was scared and confused and he didn't know how to go about this. He knew that he wasn't being fair to cas in the midst of his confusion, but it's not like he was doing it on purpose.

Dean just needed some time to figure this out. Figure out how to tell his family and friends. He had to get used to the idea of getting labeled for the rest of his life if he did come out. He wasn't even sure if he was gay for all men or was it just cas. he just needed time to sort this out for himself before he dragged cas into it. He needed time, and cas wasn't helping. It was "hard" enough to be around him, living in the same house, but now that he was acting all sexy, dean wasn't sure if he could hold it in any longer.

Dean decided to do the one thing that he could. Talk to ash. He told ash everything that had happened and everything that was going through his mind.

'_dean, how your friends and family react is a secondary thing. What's important is how you feel about cas. and as far as I know, you friends and family won't be as freaked out as you are. But that's not the point. The point is, you are making things far too complicated. People aren't labeling you, you are labeling yourself. You don't have to think whether you are gay or bi or if it's just cas. all you need to think about it is that you love this guy and you are losing him over a stupid freak out. Stop over thinking things. You were always the 'shoot first, ask questions later' kind of guy. Now is the time to think less and do whatever feels right.'_

Ash's words got to dean and he realized that he was in fact acting kind of stupid. He didn't have to figure out all the things right now. All he knew was that he loved cas, and that cas made him feel happy and that he wasn't ready to give up on them. And he sure as hell didn't want Bella in the picture! Cas was his, and he was going to get him!


	13. you belong with me

**Chapter 13**

Dean was now a little surer of what he wanted and how he was going to get it. But this surety did now instill in him any new confidence, because the thought of talking to cas about this, and apologizing still made him really nervous. After school, dean decided to go to the men's room and practice what he was going to say to cas. he stood in front of the mirror, rubbing his hands together nervously.

'_come on man! You can do this!'_

Even though it was just dean, talking to his own reflection, he stuttered and faltered and his hands got really sweaty!

_Pull yourself together man! He's just cas. you are living with him. you most definately can form a few sentences in his presence. Dean Winchester is not a coward! Come on! You should be ashamed of yourself!_

Dean continued talking himself into it for the next fifteen minutes.

He started walking home, ready to face cas, but as soon as he rang the bell to his own house, he forgot everything that he had told himself in the washroom. Just the thought of cas opening the door, and looking into his blue eyes, erased each and every though from dean's mind.

But dean was in for a surprise... or shock… when it wasn't cas who opened the door. It was Bella. She was wearing a very short dress, with floral print on it, the really deep neck and noodle straps. If dean wasn't into cas, he would have felt hot seeing Bella in this attire, but right now, it just sparked jealousy in him.

_What a slut! I can't believe I'm friends with her. She's not even trying to hide the fact that she's trying to get into his pants! So desperate! Shit! Am I really thinking all this? I'm turning into a girl! Sam is going to start calling me Deanna, instead of me calling her Samantha! How come I jumped from my previous thought to this one? What is going on in my head! Even I don't want to be in here! I think I'm going insane!_

Dean's inner turmoil was cut short by Bella's chirpy greeting.

'_hey dean, you're home! What took you so long? School's been over for half an hour. I am starving! But cas insisted on waiting for you. He said something like the more the merrier._' At this she winked at dean.

_Slut! _ Dean thought to himself.

Bella continued talking as cas walked to the door to see who it was. And there they were! Those eyes that took from dean everything he knew and sent him into another world, into a trance, where he was incapable of thinking or any other activity!

Dean lowered his eyes, breaking the very short eyes contact with cas, as cas leaned against the frame of the front door. It took dean all his will power to break that eye contact. Even though dean was looking at his shoes, blushing hard, he could feel cas' eyes on him and he could feel cas smirking.

_Why am I still standing outside? This is my house, for crying out loud! And why are both of them blocking my way in? if they want to be left alone, too bad, cause I'm not going anywhere! And why doesn't he quit staring at me? He's not making any of this easier! _Dean continued his rambling in his brain.

As if he had read his thoughts, cas opened his mouth to speak for the first time.

'_come inside dean, you must be tired. You can go; get freshened up while I and Bella get the lunch ready. Let's go babe.' _

For a second, a very brief second, dean thought that cas was referring to him, but his ears reddened when he finally lifted his eyes to find cas put his arm around Bella, his hand resting on the waist and he pulled her closer and they started walking towards the kitchen.

Dean felt jealous and embarrassed. He walked inside the house and went straight to his room. He put down his bag, and decided to change into fresh cloths before he went downstairs again. Dean took off his shirt and walked over to his closet to pull out a fresh one. He was going through his closet when he heard his bedroom door open.

Cas stood at the door to dean's room; he took in the sight in front of him. he was taken by the smooth curve of dean's back and those muscles in the upper back and shoulders. Dean's back was very similar to what one would like to draw for an adult comic. Broad shoulders leading to the lean waist. Cas didn't get much time to admire the sight as dean turned back almost as soon as cas entered the room. This time, it was cas who was having a hard time thinking straight.

'_uh... dean, I just came to, uh… call you. Um…' _cas cleared his throat as his voice was very hoarse all of a sudden. _'lunch is ready.' _

It was obvious to dean that cas was taken by his semi-naked form. Even though under normal circumstances, this would have given him some confidence or even made him smirk or at least get a little cocky in his head, right now, he just blushed at the realization.

Cas' eyes shifted from dean's eyes and moved to his lips. Can continued to form broken sentences, punctuated by a lot of 'umm...' all words were unnecessary because dean wasn't listening to what cas was saying and cas had no idea what was escaping his lips. He stared at dean's lips as he continued to form meaningless sentences. Both of them took a step closer to each other, they were still in different corners of the room. They started moving towards each other in a slow movement, as if hypnotized and not aware of their own actions.

They stood in front of each other, at arm's length. Cas' eyes moved away from where they were resting on dean's lips and moved down to his chest which rose and fell as dean breath got heavy under cas' gaze.

Then cas' eyes moved to dean's well chiseled abs and then his abdomen. Hey lingered for a moment of dean's belly button. Cas wanted to stick his tongue in that small, beautiful belly button and lick his way down to the very fine line or golden brown hair that disappeared behind the waistband of dean's jeans.

The air was filled with lust and want. Even though they weren't touching each other, they weren't saying anything, both their breathings got labored. Dean licked his lips absentmindedly as he looked at cas who was still staring at his abdomen. Cas caught the movement of dean's tongue on his lips from the corner of his eyes and his eyes shot up. He just caught a glimpse of dean's tongue as it went back to its hiding place.

Cas wanted to smash their lips together and taste dean and suck on that very tongue, which was now out of sight. Cas stared at dean's slightly wet lips, that dean had just licked. He moved closer to dean and put his palm on dean's chest. He could feel dean's heart beating fast. Dean swallowed and his Adam's apple bobbed. All these little movement were getting cas so turned on. He could feel his jeans getting tight. He moved closer to dean so now he was chest to chest with him. he could feel dean's growing erection in his pants and this made him even hotter. He put his other hand behind dean's head, entangled his fingers in dean's golden brown hair and pulled him closer. Dean closed his eyes in anticipation of what cas' lips were going to do to his. His lips parted automatically. Both of them could feel the other's breath on their faces. Cas closed the distance between them.

Just when cas' lips were centimeters from deans, Bella shouted from downstairs.

'_get your asses down boys! I thought I already told you that I'm starving!'_

Dean and cas both pulled back immediately, both really embarrassed and cursing Bella in their heads. But no one had the guts to admit this to the other.

Cas exited the room before dean could say anything.

At the lunch table, dean and cas ate in silence which was broken by Bella's babbling. Bella kept leaning toward cas, to clean something on his face, which wasn't even there. Dean saw all this and kept his eyes lowered; he didn't want cas to see how jealous and angry this whole thing was making him.

Cas, who had planned all this to make dean jealous and admit his feeling for him, wasn't feeling it anymore. After what had happened in dean's bedroom, he didn't mind if his ego went to hell as he begged dean to take him! he just wanted him! right now, real bad!

After lunch, Bella and cas decided to watch a movie (Bella decided, and cas agreed because he didn't want to be rude) and dean went back to his room.

Dean stayed in his room for about an hour and then he went downstairs to get some water, at least that's what he told himself.

As soon as dean entered the living room, he saw Bella and cas sitting on the couch. Bella was snuggling upto cas. she was rubbing cas' arms and running her fingers through his bed-head. Just then, Bella stuck out her tongue and was about to lick cas' neck, who was staring at the screen in front of him, rigid, dean called out to cas. Bella, who was surprised, pulled back and let go of cas' arm.

'_cas, can I talk to you for a second? Alone?' _ said dean and walked to the kitchen. Cas, thankful for dean's interruption excused himself and walked to the kitchen.

When cas walked in to the kitchen, dean was leaning against the kitchen counter.

'_what happened dean? are you okay?' _even though cas knew what this was about, he got worried as dean was really red in the face and there were droplets of sweat glistening on his forehead. Even though thoughts like 'does he look like this after sex? God, he looks so sexy, when he's nervous and flustered!' passed cas' mind, he pushed them back and concentrated on the task at hand.

'_what are you doing cas? what are you doing out there with Bella?'_

'_what do you mean dean? we were watching a movie.'_

'_really? Watching a movie? Did I stick my tongue in your ear on lick your neck when we watched the movie?' _dean turned bright red as soon as these words escaped his mouth!

Cas smirked.

'_that was different dean. me and Bella, well, you know…. You know where this is headed, right?'_

'_no, I don't, cas! and I don't wanna know! In fact I don't want it to head anywhere, unless of course, it's hell!' _again dean was embarrassed at how blunt he was being.

Cas on the other hand, found this angry dean really hot. He was having a hard time, letting dean admit his feeling. He just wanted dean to say it already and then jump on him!

'_what are you implying dean? I'm confused' _cas tilted his head to one side, his brows furrowed, feigning confusion.

_OH! MY! GOD! He looks so adorable when he is confused! _ Thought dean. but then, he got in control of his thoughts. He needed to this now. And do it right.

'_cas, I'm sorry! I'm sorry about what I said last night! I didn't mean it! I just freaked out when I saw dad and Sam but now I'm fine. I know what I want, I need! I need you cas. I don't care what anyone else says. I love you. I'm IN love with you. I can't see you with anyone else! Please tell me it's not too late! You can't be with her, cas. you belong with me!' _by that time dean finished, he was out of breath, but cas didn't care.

He lunged towards dean and smashed their lips together. Dean parted his lips and cas licked to roof of dean's mouth, drawing a moan from dean. he sucked on dean's tongue, just like he had imagined in his room and then sucked on his lower lip. He bit dean's lips and continued to kiss whatever part of his mouth he got access to.

He lifted dean in his arms, which was surprising since he's shorter than him and smaller. But neither noticed this. They were too busy with the war of the tongues that was going on in their mouths. Cas put dean down on the kitchen counter and stood between his legs. He moved down from dean's lips and licked his Adam's apple. Dean was out of breath but cas apparently wasn't as he continued to lay wet sloppy kisses on dean's hot flesh. Cas trailed his tongue to the hollow in dean's throat and then kissed it lightly, slower that his earlier hungry kisses. He laid down soft kisses on dean's collar bone and sucked on the corners. Dean moaned every time cas' tongue made contact with one of dean's sensitive spots (which was all the time!)

Cas could feel dean's erection against his own thigh and he moved closer, moving his hips against dean's erection to provide some friction. Dean moaned, a little louder this time. Cas continued to bite dean's neck and his earlobe as he moved his hips with a little more vigor against dean's erection. cas himself was hard now. He rubbed his own erection against deans. He continued to dry hump and kiss dean in a needy manner.

Before dean knew, he was cumming in his pants. He was panting and his jeans now had a wet spot. Dean felt so embarrassed. This had never happened to him before. He had never come in his pants with just a little friction. But the feeling of cas around him, kissing him and holding had turned dean on so much, that he just couldn't control. Dean turned red and when cas realized what had happened, he let out a small chuckle.

Dean stared at cas, unsure of how to react. Before he could think it through, he said it.

'_I'm sorry cas.'_

'_sorry? For what?'_

'_you know…' _said dean, looking down at the spot on his jeans.

Cas chuckled again.

'_sorry? Are you crazy? This is the best compliment I've ever got! I love you dean!' _said cas as he kissed dean on the forehead and then on the lips.

'_now, go upstairs and change into a fresh pair of cloths, so that we can soil them again, and I'll tell Bella that I've got some work to do.' _cas said to dean, and when dean jumped down from the counter to walk back to his room, cas spanked his ass.

'_sorry, it looked so tempting! I couldn't control myself.' _Cas winked at dean and left the kitchen to go talk to Bella.

Dean smiled to himself as he stood in the kitchen thinking about what had just happened. His smile morphed into a grin as he went back to his room to change his cloths.

**Once again, thanks for all your reviews and favorites, guys! One more thing, this is all I could come up with for this story, so in case you want me to continue, I would love some suggestions. Also, if you think that this maybe a fine place to end, I have another idea for a new story, so I can work on that. So, let me know what you think…! 3**


	14. sammy finds out

**Thanks for all the reviews! They make me feel awesome! And since, many of you wanted me to continue (which again made me feel awesome!), here's a new chapter…**

**So, I tried to capitalize the name this time… I'm sorry if I missed any. Also, please feel free to point out any mistakes that you may find in my writing. I'm just a beginner and am not perfect, so your input would really help me become a better writer. **

**Chapter 14**

Cas smiled on his way to Bella, thinking about what had just taken place in the kitchen. God! Dean had just admitted that he was in love with him! Cas felt like the happiest person on earth. He probably was…

Cas walked over to Bella, and then in a very tired voice, told her that John had just called, and that Dean had to go to the garage to help John with something, and that he had to go pick up Sam, from Jess's house. Bella sulked a little, and insisted on going along with Cas initially, but then Cas finally managed to send her back home and promised to see her later, a promise he knew he wasn't going to keep.

Even though he felt terrible about using Bella like this, he had no other option. He just had to get Dean to say it, and he didn't have any friends here who would be willing to do him this favor, so he had to use deceit. His guilt was overshadowed by the sheer pleasure he felt every time he thought about Dean's lips on his.

After Bella left, Cas walked back upstairs, and found the door to Dean's room slightly open. He knocked. He felt a little stupid knocking considering what he was there for. Dean didn't answer so Cas knocked again. Still no answer. Cas pushed the door open and walked right in.

Before he knew it, Dean sprang on him from behind the door, pushed him against the door, closing it in the process, and smashed his lips to Cas'. This was the first time, that Dean was taking control of the kiss. He kissed Cas hungrily, sloppily. He bit his lip and licked his jaw line, making Cas moan in the process. He moved to his neck, where he began to nibble at the sensitive skin, making Cas moan louder.

Dean grabbed the hem of Cas' t-shirt and pulled at it. Cas getting the clue raised his hands above his head as Dean pulled off the t-shirt in a hurried manner. He stopped for a second to appreciate the sight in front of his. He eyes scanned Cas' naked chest and abdomen and Cas blushed under Dean's gaze. Then Dean put his hands on Cas' waist and kissed him softly on the lips as he guided him to the bed. He pushed him down on the bed, and the sat on top of him, both his legs on either side of Cas.

'_Did Sam say what time he'll be home by?' _asked Dean as he stared at Cas seductively while removing his own shirt in painfully slow, teasing manner.

Cas squeaked a little, as he took in the form of teasing Dean that straddled him, and then shook his head.

Dean smiled lightly, and then bent down to kiss Cas again. Cas hands were now on Dean's chest. Even though Dean had taken the lead, Cas could feel the Dean's heart thumping loudly under his fingers, as if he was really nervous and turned on at the same time. This flattered Cas and made him blush.

'_I'm sure we have plenty of time...'_ said Dean as he moved to Cas' shoulders, where he bite him hard, making Cas groan. Dean licked the mark he had just given cas on his shoulder and then peppered light kisses on the same spot. Cas was really hard now. Dean could feel his own erection growing. He moved southwards and onto Cas' chest. He licked Cas' nipple, making them hard. Cas blushed as he let out a very needy noise. _'oh…. Dean!' _

Hearing his name on the other boy's lips turned Dean on even more, if possible. He bit his nipple making a shiver pass through Cas' body and then continued to lick it. He flicked he tongue on the nipple, playing with it. Cas was losing control. He pants were really tight now. _'Dean…'_ he breathed. Dean got the message and moved his fingers from Cas' chest to his abs to his abdomen to the waistband of his jeans in a very slow motion. He moved his hand in the downward direction and he could feel Cas' erection under his palm. The feeling he got was new for Dean, and it made his so hot! He rubbed the mount in Cas' jeans in a slow and unsure manner. When Cas moaned at the feel of dean's palm on his jeans, it gave Dean more confidence as he started to move his hand a little faster, growing into the movement.

'_oh… Dean….'_ Cas breathed.

'_Dean, I'm home! Where the hell are you?' _ came Sam's voice from way too close and when Dean and Cas turned their heads, they found Sam standing at the edge of the door, staring at them, wide eyed and in shock! Dean looked back at himself and Cas and realized that he still had his hand on Cas' erection that was slowly going away and that they were on each other, half naked. When he realized that there could be no other explanation for their action other than the truth, and that Sammy had caught them red-handed, he lifted his eyes back to where Sam stood to find him gone. He had run away. Then he heard the door to Sam's room being locked shut!

Dean got off Cas as quickly as he could and ran towards Sam's room. The tried the door but it was locked.

_Shit! We are screwed! _Thought dean.

Dean knocked on the door. He didn't get a reply. By now, Cas had followed dean to Sam's room. Cas was now wearing his own t-shirt and holding out Dean's for him to wear. Maybe when he talked to his brother about what he had seen, it would be best that Sam didn't have a naked dean in front of him. God knows how he was going to take it with them fully clothed!

When Dean got no reply from Sam even after repeated knocking, Cas asked Dean if should give it a try. Dean nodded, his face distorted with worry and concern over the fact that he had just scarred his brother for life. His baby brother had seen him making out with a guy who was living in the same house and whom Sam had known for not more than a week! Dean had a feeling that this wasn't going to go down well.

Cas took a step closer to the door, and knocked once before he addressed Sam through the door.

'_Sam, I'm me. Cas. I understand what you are feeling and I also understand if you don't want to talk, but I really think that it would help you if you heard our side of the story. You can make up your mind on what you think about what you saw, just give us a chance to explain what was happening.' _

Cas' speech was followed by a long silence after which, Sam slipped a piece of paper under the door.

_I want to speak to Dean alone. I don't want Cas to be there when I talk to Dean. Sam_

Dean gave Cas a look which said everything that Dean was feeling and Cas understood. He put his hand on Dean's shoulder in an assuring manner.

'_Go talk to him, Dean. He needs you. He's your brother. Everything will be okay. I'm here for you. I'll wait in my room.' _With that Cas went to his own room and Dean knocked on Sam's door again letting him know that he was alone now.

Sam opened the door and let Dean in. he refused to look Dean in the eye. Dean followed Sam to his bed and both of them sat down next to each other.

Dean was just thinking about how to start this when Sam suddenly spoke for the first time since he had seen Dean with Cas.

'_Dean, I'm sorry…' _this was followed by a long silence where Dean couldn't come up with anything to say. He was confused.

'_Sorry? For what, Sam? I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry for what you saw back there.'_

'_No dean. I'm sorry I freaked out! I'm really sorry that I locked myself in and refused to come out. Look, I love you man. And if you love cas, then I love him! I shouldn't have reacted in that manner. Now that I think about it, you being with a guy don't bother me. It's just that I was surprised. I just want you to be happy Dean. I don't care if it's a guy or a girl that's making you happy as long as you are happy. I'm sorry Dean….'_

Dean had tears in his eyes by the time Sam finished. He was still not looking Dean in the eye. Sam was staring at his hands. When dean continued to stare at Sam, teary eyed, surprised at how mature his little brother had become, Sam waited for Dean to say something.

'_Dean, are you mad at me?' _asked Sam still looking at his hands.

Dean, instead of trying to convince Sam with words, turned to him and gave him a tight hug! He squeezed Sam in his arms as the tears spilled over.

'_I love you Sammy! I love you so damn much!'_

'_I love you too dean!'_

The brothers hugged each other and cried. Even though they loved each other more than anything in the world, these displays of affection weren't often in their relationship. They cherished the rare moment that they were sharing before they finally parted and wiped their eyes.

'_I think I should go talk to Cas now and tell him what I told you.' _Said Sam.

'_Sammy, wait. Can I ask something?'_

'_Yeah, sure Dean. What is it?'_

'_What do you think about cas?'_

'_What do you mean, Dean?'_

'_Do you like him? And don't say yes just cause I… you know…' _Dean blushed a little.

'_Look at you! Dean Winchester blushing! Who's a little girl now?' _teased Sam

'_Shut up, bitch!'_

'_Jerk! And to answer your question. I like cas... he's a nice guy. Smart, good-looking, intelligent, caring, polite…' _Dean's smile grew a little at Sam's words as he realized that Cas in fact was everything that Sam was saying.

'…_to sum it up, he's way out of your league!' _said Sam as he stuck out his tongue at Dean.

'_oh yeah… I'm pretty sure he'll disagree. Who can say no to a piece of this?' _Dean pointed at his own body and then blushed at what he had said and whom he had said it too. Sam blushed a little too, out of embarrassment.

'_Dean, I am okay with this, but it would be better if you spared me the details of your relationship, whatever sexes you maybe into! What I saw in your room will provide for a lifetime of "things you never want to know about your elder sibling".' _Dean blush deepened.

'_Whatever bitch? Let's go talk to cas.'_

'_Why so desperate, jerk? Haven't you got enough of him already?'_

'_How can you ask me that and then expect me to spare the details? Just go do your work!' _said Dean as Sam made a face at his words. Sam left the room to sort it out with Cas, Dean stayed back, trying to give his brother and boyfriend a chance to bond.

Boyfriend… he liked the ring of it.

**This is still not the end. There is more on its way. I'm open to suggestions and new ideas. Let me know what you want to happen next, and I'll try and do it… **

**Love you all! 3**


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